These Days.

I love what I am doing at work right now. My boss is nice and so are my colleagues. Bumbling around the office learning new stuff on the job daily and being treated seriously takes my mind off issues.

But coming home at 3am in the morning can be downright depressing. It will be sleep for the very rare few hours before heading off to work again. 0115 hours. Oh no. I have been sitting here for the past four hours and I am still not done. 0140 hours. Hurry, hurry. My head hurts terribly. I just wanna go home and tuck myself under my fleece now. 0200 hours. Why am I pouting at the LCD screen every other day? 0230 hours. Done for the day. Its home now. I think I have clocked in a new record.

Yet despite everything, I still love my work. Sleep has become so much easier these days. And issues seem so distant nowadays. I like it the way it is.

Jaded.

I hate having to work London hours. The soaring towers and illuminated skyscrapers against the city backdrop only serves to make me feel even more alone than ever. And all of a sudden, I am afraid. Very afraid that everybody in my life will start to forget about me. One by one.

My body is so going to take a toll on me someday. Late nights and my vice. Yes, my body is suffering from my one and only vice. Yet it is times like this when I just want to reach out for that glass of wine to knock myself out.

Stars. Me. And You.

I have grown so attached to the stars. Everytime I walk along the streets at night or enjoy the dazzling beauty from the left side of the seat, I tell myself that they belong to me.

And when I look up at the skies, there is only one person at that moment whom I miss so very much.

Nobody.

And now, I realise that nobody in this farking world cares about me or loves me at all. Nobody.

Come, Hong Kong!!

My flight is at the dawn of tomorrow morning yet here I am dilly-daddlying, half-packed as usual. Heading down to the bustling city that never sleeps. So looking forward to the coming days of sights, sounds and shopping. And most of it all, I am looking forward to seeing again two people after a long five months. Come, Hong Kong and I shall see you again.

What I Miss.

I miss those times when we just lie there and do nothing but nothing. I miss those times when I lay beside you and start dreaming about our day. I miss those times when you tell me that you love my eyes for it is without makeup and it all.

I miss those days when despite anything and everything, I still wanna be by your side.

For everything that goes on from there, I understand. I really do.

What I miss so very much.